Dialogue Line Character Name Label Tinuviel elvanui, Elleth alfirin ethelhael O hon ring finnil fuinui A renc gelebrin thiliol. Tinuviel the elven-fair, Immortal maiden elven-wise, About him cast her night-dark hair, And arms like silver glimmering. Aragorn Medium Boromir. Aragorn Medium Get back! You stay close to Gandalf! Aragorn Medium He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back! Aragorn Medium Tis the Lay of Luthien. The Elf-maiden who gave her love to Beren, a mortal. Aragorn Medium You have a stout heart little hobbit, but that will not save you. You can no longer wait for the wizard Frodo. They're coming. Aragorn Medium Elendil! Aragorn Medium Frodo! Aragorn Medium I will not lead the Ring within a hundred leagues of your city. Aragorn Medium If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. Aragorn Medium Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let us hunt some Orc! Aragorn Medium On your feet Sam. Frodo? Frodo! Aragorn Medium She died. Aragorn Medium Steady. Hold on! Aragorn Medium The Mines are no place for a pony, even one so brave as Bill. Aragorn Medium Where is the Ring? Aragorn Medium You said you'd bind yourself to me. Forsaking the immortal life of your people. Aragorn Medium A little more caution from you. That is no trinket you carry. Aragorn Medium Are you frightened? Aragorn Medium Arwen, ride hard. Don't look back! Aragorn Medium Be at peace, son of Gondor. Aragorn Medium Be still. Aragorn Medium Boromir! Aragorn Medium Boromir! Aragorn Medium By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs! We must reach the woods of Lothlorien. Come, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up. Aragorn Medium Do not disturb the water. Aragorn Medium Frodo! Aragorn Medium Frodo! Aragorn Medium Frodo! Aragorn Medium Frodo! Hurry! Take cover! Aragorn Medium Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands. Aragorn Medium Frodo, the Argonath! Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin. Aragorn Medium Frodo? Aragorn Medium Gandalf! Aragorn Medium Gentlemen, that's enough. Aragorn Medium Gentlemen, we do not stop till nightfall. Aragorn Medium Get some sleep, Frodo. Aragorn Medium Give the Ring to Frodo. Aragorn Medium Go on, Bill, go on. Don't worry Sam, he knows the way home. Aragorn Medium Go, Frodo. Run. Run! Aragorn Medium Gollum. He has tracked us since Moria. Aragorn Medium Haldir. Aragorn Medium Hang on! Lean forward! Aragorn Medium He's been stabbed by a Morgul blade. This is beyond my skill to heal. He needs Elvish medicine. Aragorn Medium He's passing into the shadow world. He will soon become a wraith like them. Aragorn Medium Hide! Aragorn Medium Hmm. Aragorn Medium Hold on, Frodo. Aragorn Medium Hurry! Aragorn Medium I am a friend to Gandalf the Grey. Aragorn Medium I can avoid being seen if I wish. But to disappear entirely, that is a rare gift. Aragorn Medium I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the White City fall...nor our people fail! Aragorn Medium I do not want that power. I have never wanted it. Aragorn Medium I had hoped we would lose him on the river. But he's too clever a waterman. Aragorn Medium I have seen the White City, long ago. Aragorn Medium I let Frodo go. Aragorn Medium I swore to protect you! Aragorn Medium I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor. Aragorn Medium Indeed. Aragorn Medium Into the cave! Aragorn Medium Into the wild. Aragorn Medium It may help to slow the poison. Hurry! Aragorn Medium Kingsfoil. Aragorn Medium Legolas, get them up. Aragorn Medium Move your feet! Aragorn Medium No! Aragorn Medium No, Boromir, you fought bravely! You have kept your honor. Aragorn Medium No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of darkness. Aragorn Medium Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you. Aragorn Medium Oh no! Aragorn Medium Run! Aragorn Medium Sam, do you know Athelas plant? Aragorn Medium Sam. Aragorn Medium Take some rest. These borders are well protected. Aragorn Medium That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf. Aragorn Medium That was not so courteous. Aragorn Medium The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard! Aragorn Medium The Men of the South are welcome here. Aragorn Medium The Ring is beyond our reach now. Aragorn Medium The same blood flows in my veins. Same weakness. Aragorn Medium There is no strength in Gondor that can avail us. Aragorn Medium These are for you. Keep them close. I'm going to have a look around. Stay here. Aragorn Medium They were once Men. Great kings of Men. Then Sauron the Deceiver gave to them nine Rings of Power. Blinded by their greed, they took them without question. One by one falling into darkness. Now they are slaves to his will. They are the Nazgul, Ringwraiths, neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the Ring. Drawn to the power of the One. They will never stop hunting you. Aragorn Medium They will look for his coming from the White Tower. But he will not return. Aragorn Medium This was the great watchtower of Amon Sul. We shall rest here tonight. Aragorn Medium To Rivendell, Master Gamgee, to the House of Elrond. Aragorn Medium We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north. Aragorn Medium We've already had it. Aragorn Medium Yaaahh! Aragorn Medium Yaghh! Aragorn Medium You cannot give me this! Aragorn Medium You cannot wield it! None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master. Aragorn Medium You draw far too much attention to yourself Mr. "Underhill"! Aragorn Medium You have my sword. Aragorn Medium You should be dead! That spear would have skewered a wild boar. Aragorn Medium He's fading! Arwen High I do not fear them. Arwen High What grace is given me, let it pass to him, let him be spared - save him. Arwen High What's this? A ranger caught off his guard? Arwen High Frodo! Arwen High If you want him, come and claim him! Arwen High There are 5 wraiths behind you. Where the other 4 are, I do not know. Arwen High And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. Arwen High He's not going to last. We must get him to my father. I've been looking for you for 2 days. Arwen High I choose a mortal life. Arwen High It is mine to give to whom I will...like my heart. Arwen High No! Frodo...No! Frodo, don't give in! Not now! Arwen High Why do you fear the past? You are Isildur's heir, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his fate. Arwen High A rather unfair observation, as we have also developed a keen interest in the brewing of ales, and the smoking of pipe-weed. But where our hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet, and good tilled earth. For all Hobbits share a love of things that grow. Bilbo Medium Ahrrmm . . . The 22nd day of September in the year 1400, by Shire-reckoning. Bag End, Bagshot Row, Hobbiton, Westfarthing, the Shire, Middle-earth. The Third Age of this world. Bilbo Medium And so, life in the Shire goes on, very much as it has this past Age . . . full of its own comings and goings, with change coming slowly, if it comes at all. Bilbo Medium And yes, no doubt, to others our ways seem quaint. Bilbo Medium But today, of all days, it is brought home to me, it is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life. Bilbo Medium Come on Gandalf! Did you see their faces? Bilbo Medium Concerning Hobbits. Bilbo Medium For things are made to endure in the Shire, passing from one generation to the next. There's always been a Baggins, living here under the Hill . . . Bilbo Medium Gandalf? Bilbo Medium Good gracious. You have been productive! Bilbo Medium Hmm? Bilbo Medium Hobbits have been living and farming in the four Farthings of the Shire for many hundreds of years. Quite content to ignore and be ignored by the world of the Big Folk - Middle-earth being, after all, full of strange creatures beyond count. Hobbits must seem of little importance, being neither renowned as great warriors, nor counted among the very wise. Bilbo Medium I was expecting you sometime last week! Not that it matters, you come and go as you please. Always have done and always will. You caught me a bit unprepared, I'm afraid. We've only got cold chicken and a bit of pickle ... Oh, there's some cheese here- oh no, that won't do. Err, we got raspberry jam and an apple tart ... Not much for afters, I'm afraid. Oh, no -we're all right! I've found some sponge-cake. I could make you some eggs if you like-- oh. Gandalf? Bilbo Medium In fact, it has been remarked by some that the Hobbits' only real passion is for food. Bilbo Medium Its mine, my own, my precious! Bilbo Medium Oh, yes ... Bilbo Medium S-S-Sackville-Bagginses! Bilbo Medium They're after the house. They've never forgiven me for living this long! Bilbo Medium Today is my 111-11th birthday! Bilbo Medium You - want it for yourself! Bilbo Medium Hello, hello, Fatty Bolger, lovely to see you! Welcome, welcome! Bilbo Medium I know. He'd probably come with me if I asked him. I think, in his heart, Frodo's still in love with the Shire: the woods, the fields ... little rivers. I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. Bilbo Medium I'm not at home! Bilbo Medium My dear boy. Bilbo Medium No thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers or distant relations! Bilbo Medium You're right Gandalf, the Ring must go to Frodo. It's late, the road is long. Bilbo Medium 'Course he does. He's a Baggins! Not some block-headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle. Bilbo Medium . . . in Bag End. And there always will be. Bilbo Medium A ring! Bilbo Medium Ahh! Gandalf, my old friend. This will be a night to remember! Bilbo Medium Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Bilbo Medium And turned them all to stone! Bilbo Medium Argh! What business is it of yours what I do with my own things! Bilbo Medium Come on, come in! Welcome, welcome! Oh, here we are. Tea? Or maybe something a little stronger? I've got a few bottles of the Old Winyard left. 1296 --very good year. Almost as old as I am! Hahaha! Bilbo Medium Dragon? Nonsense! There hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years... Bilbo Medium Frodo! Someone at the door! Bilbo Medium Frodo! The door! Bilbo Medium Good bye, Gandalf. Bilbo Medium Hahahahaha! Bilbo Medium Hello, Frodo my lad! Bilbo Medium Here's a pretty thing --Mithril! As light as a feather...and as hard as dragon scales! Let me see you put it on. Come on. Bilbo Medium I feel thin -- sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday - a very long holiday - and I don't expect I shall return. In fact, I mean not to! Bilbo Medium I meant to go back ... wander the paths of Mirkwood ... visit Laketown ... see the Lonely Mountain again. But age it seems, has finally caught up with me. Bilbo Medium I want to see mountains again, mountains Gandalf! And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book. Oh, tea! Bilbo Medium I'm leaving everything to him. Bilbo Medium I'm sorry I brought this upon you, my boy...I'm sorry that you must carry this burden. Bilbo Medium I'm sorry for everything! Bilbo Medium I'm very selfish, you know. Yes, I am. Very selfish . . . I don't know why I took you in after your mother and father died, but it wasn't out of charity. I think it was because, of all my numerous relations, you were the one that showed real . . . spirit. Bilbo Medium I've got to get away from these confounded relatives hanging on the bell all day, never giving me a moment's peace! Bilbo Medium I've thought up an ending for my book. "And he lived happily ever after, to the end of his days." Bilbo Medium I, uh, I h-have things to do. I've put this off for far too long. I regret to announce - this is The End. I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye. Bilbo Medium It was just a bit of fun! Oh you're probably right, as usual. You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you? Bilbo Medium It was laid down by my father. What say we open one, eh? Bilbo Medium It's the Sackville-Bagginses! Bilbo Medium Mrs Bracegirdle, how nice to see you! Welcome, welcome. Are all these children yours? Bilbo Medium My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots. Bilbo Medium My dear Gandalf! Bilbo Medium My old sword, Sting! Here! Take it, take it! Bilbo Medium No, wait, it's --here in my pocket. Heh, isn't that, isn't that odd though? Yet, after all why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? Bilbo Medium No. Well, yes. But that's - that's - not the point. The point is, Frodo - you'll be alright. Bilbo Medium Now . . . where to begin? Ah, yes. Bilbo Medium Oh! Bilbo Medium Oh, right! You don't mind if I eat, do you? Bilbo Medium Oh...M-my old Ring! Oh, I sh-sh-should very much like...to hold it again, one last time. Bilbo Medium Old Toby. The finest weed in the Southfarthing. Bilbo Medium Quickly! Hide! Bilbo Medium Sticklebacks! Where is that boy? Frodo! Bilbo Medium Thank you my boy. Bilbo Medium The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began ... Bilbo Medium There I was, at the mercy of three monstrous trolls! And they were all arguing amongst themselves about how they were going to cook us, whether it be turned on a spit or whether they should sit on us one by one and squash us into jelly. Bilbo Medium There and Back Again. A Hobbit's Tale, by Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo Medium They spent so much time arguing the wither-tos and why-fors, that the sun's first light cracked over the top of the trees - poof! Bilbo Medium Well no... and yes! Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it, its mine, I found it, it came to me! Bilbo Medium Well, if I'm angry, it's your fault! It's mine! My own, my precious. Bilbo Medium What's this? Bilbo Medium Where's it gone?? Bilbo Medium Yes, it is time. Bilbo Medium Yes, yes. Bilbo Medium Yes, yes. It's all in hand. All the arrangements are made. Oh, thank you. Bilbo Medium Yes, yes. It's in an envelope over there on the mantelpiece. Bilbo Medium Yes...yea--made by the Elves, you know. The blade glows blue when Orcs are close. And it's times like that, my lad, when you have to be extra careful! Bilbo Medium You're a good lad, Frodo. Bilbo Medium But no more than a broken heirloom! Boromir Medium Give them a moment, for pity's sake! Boromir Medium It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt...over so small a thing. Such a little thing. Boromir Medium It's still sharp! Boromir Medium Now get out of here, get out! Boromir Medium Run! Run! Boromir Medium The Doom of Men Boromir Medium Two, one, five. Good. Very good. Boromir Medium Boromir Medium And if we fail, what then?! What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?! Boromir Medium As you wish... Boromir Medium Frodo, I'm sorry! Frodo! Boromir Medium I see your mind. You will take the Ring to Sauron! You will betray us! You'll go to your death and the death of us all! Curse you! Curse you! And all the halflings! Boromir Medium In a dream, I saw the eastern sky grow dark. But in the West a pale light lingered. A voice was crying: Your doom is near at hand. Isildur's Bane is found. Boromir Medium It's moving fast...against the wind. Boromir Medium Minas Tirith is the safer road. You know it. From there we can regroup...strike out for Mordor from a place of strength. Boromir Medium You carry the fate of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done. Boromir Medium ...I care not. Boromir Medium Ahh! Boromir Medium And if he alerts the enemy to our whereabouts it will make the crossing even more dangerous. Boromir Medium And what would a ranger know of this matter? Boromir Medium Aragorn! Boromir Medium Aragorn? This... is Isildur's heir? Boromir Medium Come on. Good. Boromir Medium Faster! Boromir Medium Forgive me. I did not see it. I have failed you all. Boromir Medium Frodo! Where is Frodo? Boromir Medium Frodo?...Frodo?...what have I done?...please...Frodo! Boromir Medium Gandalf's death was not in vain...nor would he have you give up hope. You carry a heavy burden, Frodo...don't carry the weight of the dead. Boromir Medium Give it to me! Boromir Medium Give me... Give me the Ring! Boromir Medium Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king. Boromir Medium Hurry! Boromir Medium I ask only for the strength to defend my people! If you would but lend me the Ring... Boromir Medium I know why you seek solitude. You suffer; I see it day by day. You sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo, other paths that we might take. Boromir Medium I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, "Even now, there is hope left." But I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope. Boromir Medium I would have followed you my Brother...my Captain...My King! Boromir Medium Isildur's Bane. Boromir Medium It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him! Boromir Medium It is not yours, save by unhappy chance. It could have been mine! It should be mine! Give it to me! Boromir Medium Leave it! It is over. The world of men will fall, and all will come to darkness... and my city to ruin. Boromir Medium Legolas! Boromir Medium Merry! Pippin! Hoo-aah! Boromir Medium My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing. And now our...our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I- I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver. Its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets? Boromir Medium No, no! Boromir Medium None of us should wander alone, you least of all. So much depends on you. Frodo? Boromir Medium One day, our paths will lead us there. And the tower guard shall take up the call: "The Lords of Gondor have returned!" Boromir Medium One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly! Boromir Medium Our people? Our people. Boromir Medium Scared of who you are, of what you are. Boromir Medium So it is true.. . Boromir Medium Sorry! Boromir Medium The shards of Narsil! The blade that cut the ring from Sauron's hand! Boromir Medium Then we are here on a common purpose . . . . . . friend . Boromir Medium Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him. Boromir Medium They have a cave troll. Boromir Medium They took the little ones. Boromir Medium This is no mine, it's a tomb! Boromir Medium Warning? Against what? We're all afraid, Frodo. But to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have...don't you see, that is madness? Boromir Medium We cannot stay here! This will be the death of the Hobbits! Boromir Medium We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here. Boromir Medium We must get off the mountain! Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city! Boromir Medium What chance do you think you have? They will find you! They will take the Ring and you will beg for death before the end! Boromir Medium What is this new devilry? Boromir Medium Who are you? Boromir Medium Why do you recoil? I am no thief. Boromir Medium You Fool! Boromir Medium You are no Elf! Boromir Medium You were quick enough to trust the Elves. Have you so little faith in your own people? Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honor to be found in Men. But you will not see that. You are afraid! All your life, you have hidden in the shadows! Boromir Medium Good evening, little masters! If you're looking for accommodation we've got some nice, cozy, hobbit-sized rooms available. Mr. uh-- Buffer Low Gandalf? Gandalf? Ohhh yes! I remember, elderly chap, big gray beard, pointy hat. . . . . . Not seen him for 6 months. Buffer Low He's one of them rangers. Dangerous folk they are -- wandering the wilds. What his right name is I've never heard, but around here, he's known as Strider. Buffer Low Underhill. Yes . . . Buffer Low By river you have the chance of outrunning the enemy to the Falls of Rauros. Celeborn High Every league you travel south, the danger will increase. Mordor Orcs now hold the eastern shore of the Anduin. Celeborn High For I much desire to speak with him...I can no longer see him from afar. Celeborn High Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people. May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes. Celeborn High Nor will you find safety on the western bank. Strange creatures bearing the mark of the White Hand have been seen on our borders. Seldom do Orcs journey in the open, under the sun, yet these have done so! Celeborn High The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone. Eight there are here, yet nine there were, set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf? Celeborn High What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost. Celeborn High Boromir! Elrond High I led Isildur into the heart of Mount Doom, where the Ring was forged, the one place it could be destroyed. Elrond High It should've ended that day, but evil was allowed to endure. Elrond High Men? Men are weak . Elrond High Nine companions... So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring! Elrond High No indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not. Elrond High Gandalf, the enemy is moving. Sauron's forces are massing in the east-- his eye is fixed on Rivendell. And Saruman you tell me has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows thin. Elrond High Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Baggins. Elrond High . . . when Isildur took the Ring. I was there the day the strength of Men failed. Elrond High And yet to have come so far, still bearing the Ring, the hobbit has shown extraordinary resilience to its evil. Elrond High Cast it into the fire! Elrond High Destroy it! Elrond High Farewell. Hold to your purpose. May the blessings of Elves and Men and all free folk go with you. Elrond High Gandalf, the Ring cannot stay here. Elrond High He turned from that path long time ago. He has chosen exile. Elrond High His strength returns. Elrond High In her heart, your mother knew you'd be hunted all your life. That you'd never escape your fate. Elrond High Isildur - hurry. Follow me. Elrond High Isildur kept the Ring. The line of kings is broken. There is no strength left in the world of Men. They're scattered, divided, leaderless. Elrond High Isildur!!! Elrond High Never before has any voice uttered the words of that tongue here in Imladris! Elrond High One of you must do this. Elrond High Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate--this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo. Elrond High The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. Elrond High The Ring-bearer is setting out on the Quest of Mount Doom. On you who travel with him no oath nor bond is laid, to go further than you will. Elrond High The race of Men is failing. The blood of Numenor is all but spent, its pride and dignity forgotten. It is because of Men the Ring survives. I was there Gandalf. I was there three thousand years ago ... Elrond High The skill of the Elves can reforge the sword of Kings, but only you have the power to wield it. Elrond High This evil cannot be concealed by the power of the Elves. We do not have the strength to fight both Mordor and Isengard! Elrond High This peril belongs to all Middle-earth. They must decide now how to end it. The time of the Elves is over-- my people are leaving these shores. Who will you look to when we've gone? The Dwarves? They hide in their mountains seeking riches-- they care nothing for the troubles of others . Elrond High You are the last of that bloodline. There is no other. Elrond High You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed. Elrond High Hoi! You get back here! Wait till I get this through you! ... Get out of my fields! You'll know the devil if I catch up with you! Farmer Maggot Low There's been some strange folk crossing the Shire. Dwarves, and others of a less than savoury nature. First Hobbit Low What orders from Mordor my Lord? What does the Eye command? First Orc Low And proud of it! Cheers, Gaffer! Frodo Medium Gandalf... Frodo Medium He's up to something. Frodo Medium I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Frodo Medium If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring. Frodo Medium Just shut your eyes, and imagine you're back in your own bed, with a soft mattress and a lovely feather pillow. Frodo Medium Mordor, Gandalf, is it left or right? Frodo Medium No, Sam. Frodo Medium What are you doing?! Frodo Medium What are you doing?! Frodo Medium What do you mean? Frodo Medium What things? Frodo Medium Where am I? Frodo Medium You must take it! Frodo Medium ...Gandalf!!!! Frodo Medium Come on Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: "It's a dangerous business... ...Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." Frodo Medium Excuse me, that man in the corner, who is he? Frodo Medium Gandalf! Frodo Medium Huh?! It has taken Boromir. Frodo Medium I can cut across country easily enough. Frodo Medium I cannot do this alone. Frodo Medium It's wonderful to see you Gandalf! Frodo Medium Nothing. There's nothing... Frodo Medium Sam! Wood-Elves! Frodo Medium Sam, I'm glad you're with me. Frodo Medium Sam, we're still in the Shire! What could possibly happen? Frodo Medium This is what? Frodo Medium "There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale by Bilbo Baggins." This is wonderful! Frodo Medium --Underhill, my name's Underhill. Frodo Medium Aaaahhhh! Frodo Medium Ah! Frodo Medium Ah! Frodo Medium All right then keep your secrets. Frodo Medium Alright, we put it away. We keep it hidden. We never speak of it again. No one knows it's here, do they? Do they Gandalf? Frodo Medium And the Ring will be safe there? Frodo Medium Aragorn? Aragorn! Frodo Medium Before you came along we Bagginses were very well thought of. Frodo Medium Better than it was. Frodo Medium Bilbo found it. In Gollum's cave. Frodo Medium Bilbo! Frodo Medium Bilbo! Frodo Medium Bilbo! Bilbo! Frodo Medium Bilbo, have you been at the Gaffer's home brew? Frodo Medium Bilbo? Bilbo, watch out for the dragon! Frodo Medium Bree. What about you? Frodo Medium But I know you have something to do with it. Frodo Medium But he was destroyed! - Sauron was destroyed. Frodo Medium But it cannot stay in the Shire! Frodo Medium But you've only just arrived! I don't understand. Frodo Medium Can you protect me from yourself?! Frodo Medium Come on. Frodo Medium Don't worry, Sam. Rosie knows an idiot when she sees one. Frodo Medium Excuse me? Frodo Medium Gandaaaaalf! Frodo Medium Gandalf! Frodo Medium Gandalf, I'm glad you're back. Frodo Medium Gandalf? Frodo Medium Gandalf? What is it? Frodo Medium Get off the road! Quick! Frodo Medium Go back, Sam! I'm going to Mordor alone. Frodo Medium Go on Sam! Ask Rosie for a dance! Frodo Medium Go! Frodo Medium Go! Frodo Medium Gollum? Frodo Medium Goodnight Sam. Frodo Medium Half the Shire's been invited. And the rest of them are turning up anyway. Frodo Medium He escaped the dungeons of Barad-Dur! Frodo Medium He's gone hasn't he? He talked for so long about leaving. I didn't think he'd really do it. Frodo Medium He's taken to locking himself in his study. He spends hours and hours poring over old maps when he thinks I'm not looking. Frodo Medium Help! Frodo Medium How far to the nearest crossing? Frodo Medium I am ready to go home. Frodo Medium I carry nothing! Frodo Medium I don't suppose we'll ever see them again. Frodo Medium I have to leave the Shire. Sam and I must get to Bree. Frodo Medium I know what you would say. And it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my heart. Frodo Medium I know. Look after the others, especially Sam. He will not understand. Frodo Medium I miss the Shire. I spent all my childhood pretending I was off somewhere else ... off with you on one of your adventures! My own adventure turned out to be quite different. Frodo Medium I think a servant of the Enemy would look fairer and feel fouler. Frodo Medium I think we should get off the road. Frodo Medium I thought you wanted to see the Elves, Sam. Frodo Medium I will take it! I will take it! Frodo Medium I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though-- I do not know the way. Frodo Medium I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Frodo Medium I'm all right, I'm not hurt. Frodo Medium I'm all right. Frodo Medium I'm giving it to you! Frodo Medium I'm not like you, Bilbo. Frodo Medium It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance! Frodo Medium It's a riddle. Frodo Medium It's so light! Frodo Medium It's some form of Elvish. I can't read it. Frodo Medium Me neither, Sam. Frodo Medium Mordor. I hope the others find a safer route. Frodo Medium Mordor? Frodo Medium More than anything. Frodo Medium Never had any adventures or did anything unexpected. Frodo Medium Never to return. Frodo Medium No! Frodo Medium No, Sam. Frodo Medium No. Frodo Medium Noooooooooooo!!! Frodo Medium Noooooooooooooooo!!!! Frodo Medium Nothing. Frodo Medium Nurgh...ugh! Frodo Medium Oh Sam! Frodo Medium Oh no you don't! Go on! Frodo Medium Oh, Sam! Come on. Frodo Medium Packed already? Frodo Medium Pippin! Frodo Medium Put it out, you fools! Put it out! Frodo Medium Sam! Frodo Medium Sam!!! Frodo Medium Sam. He'll be here. He'll come. Frodo Medium Shire. Baggins. But that would lead them here! Frodo Medium Speak "friend" and enter. What's the Elvish word for friend? Frodo Medium Speech! Frodo Medium Stay away! Frodo Medium Strider! Frodo Medium Strider.. . Frodo Medium Take it Gandalf! Take it! Frodo Medium Then I know what I must do. It's just... I'm afraid to do it. Frodo Medium There is no other way! Frodo Medium There's something down there! Frodo Medium They're going to the harbour beyond the White Towers. To the Grey Havens. Frodo Medium To tell you the truth, Bilbo's been a bit odd lately. I mean, more than usual. Frodo Medium Ungh! Frodo Medium Ungh...uhh! Frodo Medium Wait. There are markings. Frodo Medium We have no choice but to trust him. Frodo Medium We will go through the mines. Frodo Medium We wish to stay at the inn. Our business is our own. Frodo Medium We're friends of Gandalf the Grey. Can you tell him we've arrived? Frodo Medium We're heading for the Prancing Pony. Frodo Medium What are they? Frodo Medium What are you talking about? Frodo Medium What did he say? Frodo Medium What do you want? Frodo Medium What happened to her? Frodo Medium What happened, Gandalf? Why didn't you meet us? Frodo Medium What must I do? Frodo Medium What will I see? Frodo Medium What's the meaning of this? Frodo Medium Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace. Frodo Medium Where are you going? Frodo Medium Where are you taking us? Frodo Medium Where? Where do I go? Frodo Medium Who are you? Frodo Medium Who is she? This woman you sing of? Frodo Medium Who then do I trust? Frodo Medium Would you destroy it? Frodo Medium Yes. Frodo Medium You are not yourself. Frodo Medium You can't help me, Sam... Not this time... Get some sleep. Frodo Medium You can't swim! Sam! Frodo Medium You know Bilbo. He's got the whole place in an uproar. Frodo Medium You're late! Frodo Medium You're right Sam. We did what we set out to do. The Ring will be safe in Rivendell. Frodo Medium ...Your coming to us... ...is as the footsteps of doom. You bring great evil here, Ring-bearer! Galadriel High Frodo.... Galadriel High Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror...shows many things... Galadriel High Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land. He has fallen into shadow. Galadriel High ...things that were...things that are....and some things... ...that have not yet come to pass. Galadriel High A Hobbit: Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. Galadriel High And for you, Samwise Gamgee: Elven rope, made of hithlain. Galadriel High And into this Ring, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. "One Ring to rule them all." Galadriel High And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves? Galadriel High But something happened then the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. Galadriel High But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master ring, to control all others. Galadriel High Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace. Galadriel High Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. Galadriel High Farewell, Frodo Baggins. I give you the light of Earendil, our most beloved star. Galadriel High For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all. Galadriel High For the world has grown full of peril. And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief. Galadriel High History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years, the Ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer. Galadriel High I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my mind. It is what will come to pass if you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking: it is already begun. He will try to take the Ring. You know of whom I speak. One by one, it will destroy them all. Galadriel High I pass the test! I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel. Galadriel High In place of a Dark Lord, YOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK, BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! Galadriel High It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else, desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. Galadriel High It betrayed Isildur to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. Galadriel High It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the King, took up his father's sword. Galadriel High May it be a light for you, in dark places, when all other lights go out. Galadriel High Much that once was is lost. For none now live who remember it. Galadriel High My gift for you, Legolas, is a bow of the Galadhrim, worthy of the skill of our woodland kin. Galadriel High Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his whole purpose. Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dum fill your heart, Gimli, son of Gloin. Galadriel High One by one, the free lands of Middle-earth fell to the power of the Ring. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor, and on the slopes of Mount Doom they fought for the freedom of Middle-earth. Galadriel High STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME, AND DESPAIR! Galadriel High Sauron, the enemy of the free-peoples of Middle-earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever. But the hearts of Men are easily corrupted. And the Ring of Power has a will of its own. Galadriel High That choice is yet before her. You have your own choice to make, Aragorn...to rise above the height of all your fathers since the days of Elendil, or to fall into darkness...with all that is left of your kin. Galadriel High The Ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forest of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the east, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Ring of Power perceived its time had now come. It abandoned Gollum. Galadriel High The Ring came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, it consumed him. Galadriel High The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all. Galadriel High These are the daggers of the Noldorin. They have already seen service in war. Do not fear, young Peregrin Took. You will find your courage. Galadriel High This is Nenya, the Ring of Adamant, and I am its Keeper. This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way, no one will. Galadriel High Victory was near. But the power of the Ring could not be undone. Galadriel High Welcome, Frodo of the Shire...one who has seen the Eye! Galadriel High Will you look into the mirror? Galadriel High Yet hope remains while the company is true. Galadriel High You are a Ring bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of power is to be alone. Galadriel High You offer it to me freely. I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this. Galadriel High "It has come to me, the One Ring. It shall be an heirloom of my kingdom. All those who follow in my bloodline shall be bound to its fate for I will risk no hurt to the Ring. It is precious to me, though I buy it with great pain. The markings upon the band begin to fade. The writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared. A secret now that only fire can tell." Gandalf High , down from the door where it began. , and I must follow if I can. Gandalf High And now the Ring had drawn him here. He will never be rid of his need for it. He hates and loves the Ring, as he hates and loves himself. Gandalf High I do not ask your pardon, Master Elrond, for the Black Speech of Mordor may yet be heard in every corner of the West! The Ring is altogether Evil! Gandalf High I suppose you think that was terribly clever. Gandalf High It's Gollum. Gandalf High Just tea, thank you. Gandalf High Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words. Gandalf High Let the Ring bearer decide. Gandalf High Oh, it's useless! Gandalf High Precious? Its been called that before, but not by you. Gandalf High So, you mean to go through with your plan, then. Gandalf High The Nine! Gandalf High The Year 3434 of the Second Age. Here follows the account of Isildur, High King of Gondor and the finding of the Ring of Power. Gandalf High The road goes ever on and on, Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the road has gone, And I must follow if I can... Gandalf High We must hold this course west of the Misty Mountains for forty days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will still be open to us. From there our road turns east to Mordor. Gandalf High You are in the house of Elrond. And it is 10 o'clock in the morning, on October the 24th, if you want to know. Gandalf High "Here lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria." He is dead then. It's as I feared. Gandalf High "They have taken the bridge...and the second hall." Gandalf High Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity! Gandalf High Go back to the Shadow! Gandalf High Gwaihir. Go, Gwaihir. Gandalf High I think there's more to this Hobbit than meets the eye. Gandalf High I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear Gandalf High My precious. Gandalf High Oh! It's that way. Gandalf High Ooh! You didn't think I'd miss your Uncle Bilbo's birthday? Gandalf High Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Gandalf High Precious... Gandalf High Riddles in the Dark. Gandalf High So am I, dear boy! . . . So am I. Gandalf High There is only one Lord of the Ring! Only one who can bend it to his will. And he. does. not. share. power! Gandalf High To the Bridge of Khazad-dum! Gandalf High Whoa! Gandalf High "Drums...drums...in the deep." Gandalf High "We cannot get out. A shadow moves in the dark." Gandalf High "We cannot get out..." "They are coming!" Gandalf High "We have barred the gates...but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes." Gandalf High ... the Ring is still in your pocket. Gandalf High ...along with all his possessions. The Ring is yours now. Put it somewhere out of sight. Gandalf High ...before this is over. Gandalf High A Balrog- a demon of the ancient world. Gandalf High A Palantir is a dangerous tool, Saruman. Gandalf High A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think? Gandalf High A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to. Gandalf High All these long years it was in the Shire, under my very nose. Gandalf High All your long years we've been friends. Trust me as you once did, hmm? Let it go. Gandalf High And I'm sure you will my dear friend. Gandalf High And the Ring? Gandalf High And what about very old friends? Gandalf High Aragorn is right. We cannot use it. Gandalf High Ash nazg durbatuluk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatuluk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the Darkness bind them. Gandalf High Be careful both of you. The enemy has many spies in his service: birds, beasts. Is it safe? Never put it on, for the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Frodo, the Ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found. Gandalf High Behold: the great realm and Dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf. Gandalf High Beyond any doubt. Gandalf High Bilbo ... Gandalf High Bilbo Baggins! Gandalf High Bilbo Baggins! Gandalf High Bilbo had a shirt of Mithril rings that Thorin gave him. Gandalf High But we still have time. Time enough to counter Sauron if we act quickly. Gandalf High By the skills of Lord Elrond, you're beginning to mend. Gandalf High Come along Samwise, keep up! Gandalf High Confound it all Samwise Gamgee! Have you been eavesdropping?! Gandalf High Do as I say! Gandalf High Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise can not see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill... Gandalf High Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks. I am not trying to rob you. I'm trying to help you. Gandalf High Do you not understand that while we bicker amongst ourselves, Sauron's power grows?! None can escape it! You'll all be destroyed! Gandalf High Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine. Gandalf High Escaped? Or was set loose? Gandalf High Fly, you fools! Gandalf High Frodo suspects something. Gandalf High Frodo! Gandalf High Frodo, come and help an old man. Gandalf High Frodo? Gandalf High Get out of the Shire. Make for the village Bree. Gandalf High Gimli! Gandalf High Good bye, dear Bilbo. Gandalf High Good gracious me! Gandalf High Good to see you! One hundred and eleven years old --who would believe it? You haven't aged a day. Gandalf High He's been following us for three days. Gandalf High He's very fond of you. Gandalf High His treachery runs deeper than you know. By foul craft Saruman has crossed Orcs with goblin-men, he's breeding an army in the caverns of Isengard. An army that can move in sunlight and cover great distance at speed. Saruman is coming for the Ring. Gandalf High Hmm? Bilbo's Ring. He's gone to stay with the Elves. He's left you Bag End... Gandalf High Hold out your hand Frodo, it's quite cool. Gandalf High How is your shoulder? Gandalf High Hrrrmmph Gandalf High I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor... Gandalf High I don't know Frodo. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Frodo, he'll know what to do. You'll have to leave the name of Baggins behind you, for that name is not safe outside the Shire. Gandalf High I don't know how long they tortured him. But amidst the endless screams and inane babble, they discerned two words . . . Gandalf High I have no memory of this place. Gandalf High I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves...Men...and Orcs. Gandalf High I think you should leave the Ring behind, Bilbo. Is that so hard? Gandalf High I think you've had that Ring quite long enough. Gandalf High I'll be waiting for you, at the Inn of the Prancing Pony. Gandalf High If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose. Gandalf High If you're referring to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door. Gandalf High In the common tongue it says, "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." Gandalf High Indeed? Gandalf High Into the Mines! Gandalf High Is it secret?! Is it safe?! Gandalf High It is a burden he should never have had to bear. We can ask no more of Frodo. Gandalf High It is in Men that we must place our hope. Gandalf High It reads "The Doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter." Gandalf High It's Saruman! Gandalf High Just tea, thank you. Gandalf High Lead them on, Aragorn! The bridge is near! Gandalf High Left. Gandalf High Let me risk a little more light. Gandalf High Mellon... Gandalf High Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. I might have known. Gandalf High My dear Frodo. Hobbits really are amazing creatures! You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years, they can still surprise you. Get down! Gandalf High Neither do I. Keep it secret. Keep it safe. Gandalf High No Gimli, I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice. Gandalf High No! Gandalf High No! No, it can't. Gandalf High No, Frodo. Gandalf High No, Frodo. The spirit of Sauron endured. His life force is bound to the Ring, and the Ring survived. Sauron has returned. His Orcs have multiplied. His fortress at Barad-Dur is rebuilt in the land of Mordor. Sauron needs only this Ring to cover all the lands of a second darkness. He is seeking it, seeking it - all his thought is bent on it. The Ring yearns above all else to return to the hand of its master. They are one, the Ring and the Dark Lord. Frodo, he must never find it. Gandalf High No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. Gandalf High Noooo? Perhaps not. I have thought of a better use for you... Gandalf High Nothing, Frodo. Gandalf High Now...let's see. Ithildin - It mirrors only starlight...and moonlight. Gandalf High Oh I'm sorry Frodo . . . . . . I was delayed. Gandalf High Oh no, not at all. Gandalf High Oh really? Gandalf High Oh, it's quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the password, and the doors will open. Gandalf High Over the bridge! Fly! Gandalf High Questions. Questions that need answering! Gandalf High Quickly! Gandalf High Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed. Gandalf High Sam has hardly left your side. Gandalf High Saruman. Gandalf High Smeagol's life is a sad story. Yes, Smeagol he was once called. Before the Ring found him...before it drove him mad. Gandalf High So be it. Gandalf High So do all who live to see such times but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you. Gandalf High So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought. Gandalf High So, how is the old rascal? I hear it's going to be a party of special magnificence. Gandalf High Spies of Saruman! The passage South is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras. Gandalf High Swords are no more use here! Gandalf High Tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the wise abandon reason for madness?! Gandalf High That wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life. Gandalf High The Eye of Sauron. Gandalf High The Fellowship awaits the Ring-bearer. Gandalf High The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Gandalf High The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many. Gandalf High The wealth of Moria was not in gold...or jewels... ...but Mithril. Gandalf High There are few who can. The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here. Gandalf High There are many magic rings in this world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be used lightly. Gandalf High There are many powers in this world, for Good or for Evil. Some are greater than I am. And against some I have not yet been tested. Gandalf High There are some things that I must see to. Gandalf High There is one other who knew that Bilbo had the Ring. I looked everywhere for the creature Gollum. But the enemy found him first. Gandalf High There is one who could unite them, one who could reclaim the throne of Gondor. Gandalf High There's no need to get angry. Gandalf High They are not all accounted for, the lost Seeing Stones. We do not know who else may be watching! Gandalf High They've reached the Shire?! Gandalf High This foe is beyond any of you. Run! Gandalf High This is the One Ring. Forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom. Taken by Isildur from the hand of Sauron himself. Gandalf High Travel only by day. And stay off the road. Gandalf High Two eyes - as often as I can spare them. Gandalf High Until our next meeting. Gandalf High We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs, in the deep places of the world. Gandalf High We now have but one choice. Gandalf High Well, that should please him! Gandalf High What about this Ring of yours, is that staying too? Gandalf High What can you see? Can you see anything? Gandalf High What did you hear?! Speak!!!! Gandalf High Whoa! Up they go. Gandalf High Whoa, whoa. Gandalf High YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS!!! Gandalf High Yaggghhh! Gandalf High Yes! I never told him, but its worth was greater than the value of the Shire. Gandalf High Yes, Gimli, their own masters cannot find them, if their secrets are forgotten. Gandalf High Yes. For sixty years the Ring lay quiet in Bilbo's keeping, prolonging his life, delaying old age. But no longer Frodo. Evil is stirring in Mordor. The Ring has awoken. It's heard its master's call. Gandalf High Yes...I'm here. And you're lucky to be here, too. A few more hours and you would have been beyond our aid. But you have some strength in you, my dear hobbit! Gandalf High You cannot offer me this Ring! Gandalf High You cannot pass! Gandalf High You feel its power growing, don't you? I've felt it too. You must be careful now. Evil will be drawn to you from outside the Fellowship. And, I fear, from within. Gandalf High You know this? How? Gandalf High You must leave, and leave quickly. Gandalf High You must trust yourself. Trust your own strengths. Gandalf High You will tell him, won't you? Gandalf High What do you want? Gatekeeper Low Alright young sir, I meant no offence. 'Tis my job to ask question after nightfall. There's talk of strange folk abroad. Can't be too careful. Gatekeeper Low Hobbits! Four hobbits! What business brings you to Bree? Gatekeeper Low Mithril! You are full of surprises, Master Baggins. Gimli Medium Nothing. Except to look upon the Lady of the Galadhrim one last time, for she is more fair than all the jewels beneath the earth. Gimli Medium The Walls...of Moria! Gimli Medium Gimli Medium And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?! Gimli Medium Kilmin malur ni zaram kalil ra narag. Kheled-zaram ... Balin tazlifi. Gimli Medium Nobody tosses a dwarf. Gimli Medium ...and are never seen again. Gimli Medium ARGH!!!! Gimli Medium Aarrgghhh! Let them come! There is one dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath! Gimli Medium Actually, there was one thing -- ah, agh, that's quite impossible. Stupid to ask. Gimli Medium And my axe! Gimli Medium And they call it a mine. A mine! Gimli Medium And you know what this Dwarf says to that? Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul! Gimli Medium Dwarf doors are invisible when closed. Gimli Medium Festering, stinking marshlands, far as the eye can see! Gimli Medium Grrr... Gimli Medium Haugh! Gimli Medium I asked her for one hair from her golden head. She gave me three. Gimli Medium I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest. Haugh, henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me. Gimli Medium I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf! Gimli Medium If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin, Balin, would give us a royal welcome. Gimli Medium If we cannot pass over the mountain, let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria. Gimli Medium Never trust an Elf! Gimli Medium No dwarf need recover strength! Pay no heed to that, young Hobbit. Gimli Medium No! No! No! Gimli Medium Not the beard! Gimli Medium Nothing, it's just a whiff of cloud. Gimli Medium Oh! No! Noooo!!! Gimli Medium Oh, that was a kingly gift. Gimli Medium Oh, yes?! It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better! Gimli Medium Oh... Gimli Medium Recover my...?! Phrrrrr... Gimli Medium So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves! Speak words we can also understand! Gimli Medium Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves! Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This, my friend, is the home of my cousin, Balin. Gimli Medium Stay close, young Hobbits! They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods, an Elf-witch, of terrible power. All who look upon her, fall under her spell... Gimli Medium Then it has all been in vain! The Fellowship has failed. Gimli Medium Then what are we waiting for? Gimli Medium Well, here is one Dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox! Gimli Medium Yes!!! Haha! Gimli Medium Golllllluum... Gollum Low Losssst! My precious is lost! Gollum Low Shire!!! Baggins!!! Gollum Low Shire!!! Baggins!!! Gollum Low Golllllluum... Gollum Low It came to me, my own, my love, my own, my prrrrreciousssss! Gollum! Gollum Low My Precioussssss Gollum Low Caras Galadhon...the heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light. Haldir High The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark. Haldir High We have not had dealings with the Dwarves since the Dark Days. Haldir High You bring great evil with you. You can go no further. Haldir High You will follow me. Haldir High Awwww. Hobbit children Low Gandalf! Gandalf! Fireworks? Gandalf? Hobbit children Low Baggins. There's no Bagginses 'round here! They're up in Hobbiton, that way! Hobbit Low Happy birthday! Hobbit Low Look at that! Hobbit Low Who goes there? Hobbit Low Aah! Hobbits Low Ooh! Hobbits Low Happy birthday! Hobbits Low Speech, Bilbo! Speech! Hobbits Low Goodnight, sweet maiden of the Golden Ale! Intoxicated Hobbit Medium A lament for Gandalf. Legolas High We should leave now. Legolas High Gandalf. Legolas High Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed! Legolas High We must move on, we cannot linger! Legolas High And heir to the throne of Gondor. Legolas High And you have my bow Legolas High Aragorn! Go! Legolas High Come on! Legolas High Crebain from Dunland! Legolas High For we went needlessly into the net of Moria. Legolas High Goblins! Legolas High He was taken by both Shadow and Flame: a Balrog of Morgoth. Legolas High Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore. Legolas High I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near. Legolas High It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near...I can feel it! Legolas High Lembas! Elvish Way-bread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man. Legolas High Orcs! Legolas High The Horn of Gondor! Legolas High There is a fell voice on the air! Legolas High This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance. Legolas High What was it? Legolas High Why doesn't that surprise me? Legolas High You mean not to follow them? Legolas High Get, get out of my way. Man Medium Out of the way! Watch where you're walking, young masters! Men of Bree Medium He's leavin'. Merry Low Hey ho, to the bottle I go! To heal my heart and drown my woe. Rain may fall and wind may blow. But there still be - many miles to go! Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain, and the stream that falls from hill to plain. Better than rain or rippling brook - is a mug of beer inside this Took!" Merry Low Run, Frodo! Go! Merry Low Who is she? Merry Low You're supposed to stick it in the ground! Merry Low He's remembered! Merry Low How do we know this Strider is a friend of Gandalf? Merry Low How many did you eat? Merry Low Pippin! Merry Low This my friend, is a pint. Merry Low Wait! We are coming too! Merry Low What do they say about him? Merry Low 'Dunno why he is so upset. It's only a couple of carrots! Merry Low Ahhhhgggh!!! Merry Low Aragorn! Merry Low Brandywine Bridge: Twenty miles. Merry Low Don't think he knows about second breakfast Pip. Merry Low Frodo! Merry Low Frodo! Merry Low Frodo! Merry Low Get Him! Merry Low Get the rope Sam! Merry Low He's foul enough! Merry Low Hello Frodo! Merry Low Here is a nice one Sam. Merry Low Hey! Hey you! Over here! Merry Low Hold this. Merry Low Hurry! Merry Low I know its working! Run! Merry Low I wouldn't count on it. Merry Low Jump Frodo! Go on faster! Jump! Merry Low My tomato's burst. Merry Low No, no the big one, big one Merry Low No. Merry Low Ok. Want some tomatoes Sam? Merry Low Oowwww! I think I've broken something. Merry Low Outside! Merry Low Over here! Merry Low Pippin! Merry Low Pippin! Merry Low Quickly! Merry Low Right. Buckleberry Ferry. Follow me. Merry Low Run Frodo! Merry Low That Black Rider was looking for something... or someone. Frodo? Merry Low That was good! Merry Low They're close. Merry Low Tomatoes, sausages, nice crispy bacon. Merry Low Well that rules you out Pip. Merry Low What do they eat - when they can't get Hobbit? Merry Low What do you suppose that means? Merry Low What was that? Merry Low What? Merry Low What?! That was just a detour, a shortcut. Merry Low Where are you taking him? Merry Low Where's Frodo? Merry Low Yaaahh! Merry Low Yes Pippin! My point is, he is clearly overreactin'. Run! Merry Low You look good, Pippin. Merry Low You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us! Merry Low Saruman! Orc Low The trees are strong, my Lord. Their roots go deep. Orcs Low Aaaah! Pippin Low Hey ho, to the bottle I go! To heal my heart and drown my woe. Rain may fall and wind may blow. But there still be - many miles to go! Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain, and the stream that falls from hill to plain. Better than rain or rippling brook Pippin Low It is in the ground. Pippin Low What are you going to do, then? Pippin Low What's he doin'? Pippin Low Hide here! Quick! Come on! Pippin Low Sure I know a Baggins. He's over there, Frodo Baggins. He's my second cousin once removed on his mother's side and my third cousin twice removed on his father's side, if you follow me. Pippin Low This way! Pippin Low Wait! We are coming too! Pippin Low What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them doesn't he? Pippin Low You've got my arm...you've got my arm! Pippin Low Ahhhhgggh!!! Pippin Low And some cabbages. And those few bags of potatoes that we lifted last week and, and the mushrooms the week before! Pippin Low Anyway you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission, quest... thing. Pippin Low Are we lost? Pippin Low Baggins! Pippin Low Can I have some bacon? Pippin Low Done. Pippin Low For the Shire! Hold him! Hold him down! Merry! Pippin Low Four. Pippin Low Frodo! Pippin Low Frodo? Merry! It's Frodo Baggins. Pippin Low Great! Where are we going? Pippin Low Hey! Pippin Low Hurry! Pippin Low I think we are. Pippin Low I'm hungry. Pippin Low Is he going to die? Pippin Low It comes in pints? I'm getting one. Pippin Low It was your idea! Pippin Low Its working! Pippin Low Jump Frodo! Go on faster! Jump! Pippin Low Let's get another one! Pippin Low Merry? Pippin Low Mushrooms!!! Pippin Low No! Pippin Low Nothing's happening. Pippin Low Oh, that's nice! Ash on my tomatoes! Pippin Low Ooh! That was close. Pippin Low Run Frodo! Pippin Low Run! This way, follow me! Run! Pippin Low Steady on, Frodo! Pippin Low Thanks. Pippin Low That's mine! Pippin Low We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast? Pippin Low What about breakfast? Pippin Low What are they saying? Pippin Low What is going on? Pippin Low What's that? Pippin Low Yaaahh! Pippin Low Proudfeet! Proudfoot Hobbit Low Goodnight, lads. Rosie Medium I know you're in there! Sackville-Baggins Low Bilbo? Sackville-Baggins Low Buh-bye Bill. Sam Low Does she? Sam Low I bet they don't mention his fireworks. There should be a verse about them. Sam Low I haven't dropped no eaves sir, honest. I was just cutting the grass under the window there, if you follow me. Sam Low Now what have I forgotten? Sam Low Oh, that doesn't do they justice by a long road. Sam Low What are you doing?! Those wraiths are still out there! Sam Low Back you devils! Sam Low Frodo? Sam Low Have some food, Mr. Frodo. Sam Low He's alive! Sam Low I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise! "Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to! I don't mean to. Sam Low I think I'll just have another ale. Sam Low I think I'm getting the hang of this. Sam Low I thought I'd lost you. Sam Low Mister Frodo? Frodo! Frodo! Sam Low Strider! Sam Low "Don't you lose him, Samwise Gamgee!" And I don't mean to. Sam Low A shortcut to what? Sam Low Anything? Sam Low Athelas? Sam Low Bless you, you're awake! Sam Low But where is he leading us? Sam Low But you're not! I'm here to help you. I promised Gandalf that I would. Sam Low Came falling like a...rain of flowers... Sam Low Did you hear that? Rivendell! We're going to see the Elves! Sam Low Everywhere I lie there's a dirty great root sticking into my back. Sam Low Frodo! Sam Low Frodo! Sam Low Frodo! Sam Low Frodo! Sam Low Frodo! Sam Low Frodo! Sam Low Frodo! Sam Low Frodo! Frodo! Sam Low Frodo, no! Frodo! Mr. Frodo! Sam Low Get down! Sam Low Get off him! Frodo? Are you all right? Sam Low Goodnight, Mister Frodo. Sam Low Goodnight. Sam Low Heh! Mr. Frodo is not goin' anywhere without me! Sam Low Hurry! Sam Low I did! It's just ... we did what Gandalf wanted didn't we? We got the Ring this far to Rivendell and then I thought, seein' as how you're on the mend, we'd be off soon. Off home. Sam Low I do! Sam Low I don't know why - it makes me sad. Sam Low I heard raised voices. Sam Low If take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been. Sam Low It's just something Gandalf said. Sam Low It's not working Mr. Frodo. I'm never going to be able to sleep out here. Sam Low Jump Frodo! Go on faster! Jump! Sam Low Kingsfoil - aye, it's a weed. Sam Low Let him go! Or I'll have you Longshanks! Sam Low Look, Mr Frodo! It's Mr. Bilbo's trolls! Sam Low Mind who you're sweet talking. Sam Low Mr. Frodo!!! Sam Low Mr. Frodo? Sam Low Mr. Frodo? He's going cold! Sam Low N-n-n-nothing important. That is I heard a good deal about a Ring and a Dark Lord and something about the end of the world but... Please, Mister Gandalf sir, don't hurt me. Don't turn me into anythin' --unnatural. Sam Low No harm in being prepared. Sam Low Now there's an eye opener and no mistake. Sam Low Of course you are, and I'm coming with you! Sam Low Run Frodo! Sam Low She's an Elf. Sam Low Shhh! Stop it! Be quiet! Sam Low Shhh! Gandalf's thinking. Sam Low Strider will look after them. Sam Low Strider! Help him, Strider! Sam Low Thank you, my lady. Have you run out of those nice, shiny daggers? Sam Low That fellow's done nothin' but stare at you since we arrived. Sam Low The finest rockets ever seen, They burst in stars of blue and green... Or after thunder...silver showers... Sam Low They're leaving Middle-earth. Sam Low This is it. Sam Low Trust a Brandybuck and a Took! Sam Low We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may. Sam Low We saved some for you, Mr. Frodo. Sam Low We were that worried about you, weren't we Mr. Gandalf? Sam Low We're six days from Rivendell. He'll never make it! Sam Low What do we do now? Sam Low What is that? Sam Low You had a whole half already! Sam Low You haven't eaten anything all day. You're not sleeping, either. Don't think I haven't noticed. Mr. Frodo... Sam Low You've been into Farmer Maggot's crop! Sam Low : Get off him! Strider! Sam Low If the mountain defeats you, will you risk a more dangerous road? Saruman High Moria... You fear to go into those mines. Saruman High The Dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. Saruman High The power of Isengard is at your command, Sauron, Lord of the Earth. Saruman High Hunt them down! Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You will taste man-flesh! Saruman High The hour is later than you think. Sauron's forces are already moving. The Nine have left Minas Morgul. Saruman High Do you know how the Orcs first came into being? They were Elves once, taken by the dark powers. Tortured and mutilated... ...a ruined and terrible form of life. And now...perfected: my fighting Uruk-Hai. Whom do you serve? Saruman High Friendship with Saruman is not lightly thrown aside. One ill turn deserves another. It is over! Embrace the power of the Ring . . . or embrace your own destruction! Saruman High He is gathering all evil to him. Very soon he will summon an army great enough to launch an assault upon Middle Earth. Saruman High I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly. But you...have elected...the way of pain! Saruman High I have seen it. Saruman High One of the Halflings carries something of great value. Bring them to me alive and unspoiled. Kill the others! Saruman High Rip them all down! Saruman High Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all -- his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and flesh. You know of what I speak, Gandalf -- a great Eye... lidless... wreathed in flame. Saruman High Shadow and Flame! Saruman High Smoke rises from the mountain of Doom. The hour grows late and Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard seeking my counsel. For that is why you have come, is it not...my old friend? Saruman High So you have chosen - death . Saruman High So, Gandalf, you try to lead them over Caradhras. And if that fails, where then will you go? Saruman High So, the Ring of Power has been found. Saruman High They crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve, disguised as riders in black. Saruman High They will find the Ring... and kill the one who carries it. Saruman High Time?! What time do you think we have? Saruman High We have work to do! Saruman High Why? Why should we fear to use it? Saruman High Yet you did not have the wit to see it. Your love of the halfling's leaf has clearly slowed your mind. Saruman High You are sure of this? Saruman High You did not seriously think that a hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron? There are none who can. Against the power of Mordor there can be no victory. We must join with him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend. Saruman High You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-dum: Saruman High Build me an army worthy of Mordor! Sauron High You cannot hide! I see you! There is no life in the void, only death! Sauron High War is brewing. The mountains are fair teeming with goblins. Second Hobbit Low Young Mr Frodo, here, he's cracking! Second Hobbit Low Find the Halfling! Yaggh! Find the Halfling! The Uruk-hai leader Low Far-off tales and children's stories, that's all that is. You're beginning to sound like that old Bilbo Baggins. Cracked, he was. Third Hobbit Low Well, it's none of our concern what goes on beyond our borders. Keep your nose out of trouble, and no trouble'll come to you. Third Hobbit Low Hi Mom. Kid Low A little bit. Kid Low What? Kid Low Mom, can't you tell him I'm sick... Kid Low He'll pinch my cheek...I hate that! Kid Low Heyyyyy...How's the sick? Huh? Grandfather Medium I brought you a special present. Grandfather Medium What is it? Kid Low Open it up. Grandfather Medium A book? Kid Low That's right, when I was your age, television was called books; and this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick and I used to read it to your father...and today, I'm gonna read it to you. Grandfather Medium Does it got any sports in it? Kid Low Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles... Grandfather Medium It doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake. Kid Low Oh, well, thank you very much. That's very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. Oh...alright...The Princess Bride by S. Morgenstern, Chapter 1. Grandfather Medium Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite past-times were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Wesley. But she never called him that. Isn't that a wonderful beginning? Narrator Medium Yeah...it's really good. Kid Low Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Wesley around. Narrator Medium Farmboy, varnish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning. Buttercup Medium As you wish. Wesley Medium 'As you wish' was all he ever said to her. Narrator Medium Farmboy, fill these with water...please? Buttercup Medium As you wish. Wesley Medium That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying 'as you wish,' what he meant was, 'I love you.' And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back. Narrator Medium Farmboy, fetch me that pitcher. Buttercup Medium As you wish... Wesley Medium Hold it! Hold it! What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a kissing book? Kid Low Wait, just wait. Grandfather Medium Well when does it get good? Kid Low Keep your shirt on and let me read. Grandfather Medium Wesley had no money for marriage so he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea. It was a very emotional time for Buttercup. Narrator Medium I don't believe this! Kid Low I fear I will never see you again... Buttercup Medium Of course you will. Wesley Medium But what if something happens to you? Buttercup Medium Hear this now, I will always come for you. Wesley Medium But how can you be sure? Buttercup Medium This is true love. You think this happens every day? Wesley Medium Wesley didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Wesley was murdered... Narrator Medium Murdered by pirates is good! Kid Low ...she went into her room and shut the door, and for days she neither slept nor ate. Narrator Medium I will never love again. Buttercup Medium Five years later the main square of Florin City was filled as never before to hear the announcement of the Great Prince Humperdinck's bride to be. Narrator Medium Buttercup's emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave Humperdinck the right to choose his bride, she did not love him. Despite Humperdinck's reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy she found was in her daily ride. Narrator Medium A word my lady? We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby? Vizzini High There is nothing nearby. Not for miles. Buttercup Medium Then there will be no one to hear you scream... Vizzini High What is that you're ripping? Inigo Montoya High It's fabric from the uniform of any army officer of Guilder! Vizzini High Who is Guilder? Fezzik Low The country across the sea! The sworn enemy of Florin! Go!!! Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the prince suspect that the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier his suspicions will be totally confirmed. Vizzini High You never said anything about killing anyone! Fezzik Low I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition! Vizzini High I just don't think it's right...killing an innocent girl. Fezzik Low Am I going mad, or did the word 'think' escape your lips?!! You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass!! Vizzini High Oh, the sot has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her! And remember this, never forget this; When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy brandy!!! And you! Friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless!! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Greenland!! Vizzini High Fuss...fuss...I think he likes to scream at us. Fezzik Low He's very, very short on...charm. Fezzik Low Yes, yes, some of the time. Fezzik Low Enough of that! Vizzini High If there are, we all be dead. Fezzik Low No more rhymes now, I mean it! Vizzini High Anybody want a peanut? Fezzik Low Aauuuggghhhhh!!!!!! Vizzini High We'll reach the cliffs by dawn. Why are you doing that? Vizzini High That would be inconceivable. Vizzini High Despite what you think, you will be caught; and when you are, the prince will see you all hanged. Buttercup Medium Of all the necks on this boat, highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own... Stop doing that! We can all relax! It's almost over. Vizzini High As I told you it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable! No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. Out of curiosity, why do you ask? Vizzini High What?! Probably...some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night...through eel infested waters. Vizzini High What?! Go in!! Go after her!!! Vizzini High I only dog-paddle... Fezzik Low Aauuuggghhhhh!!!!!! Vizzini High Veer left!...left!...left! Do you know what that sound is, highness? Those are the shrieking eels! If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh! If you swim back now I promise no harm will come to you...I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels. Vizzini High She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time. Grandfather Medium What? Kid Low The eel doesn't get her...I'm explaining to you because you looked nervous. Grandfather Medium Oh...I wasn't nervous. Well, maybe I was a little bit concerned but that's not the same thing. Kid Low ...Because we can stop now if you want. Grandfather Medium No, you could read a little bit more, if you want. Kid Low 'Do you know what that sound is highness? Those are the shrieking eels!' Narrator Medium Pass that, Grandpa. You read it already. Kid Low Oh...oh my goodness, I did. I'm sorry. Beg your pardon. alright, alright, lets see...uh...she was in the water, the eel was going after her, she was frightened, the eel started to charge her and then... Grandfather Medium Put her down! Just put her down! Vizzini High He's no concern of ours! Sail on! I suppose you think you're brave, don't you? Vizzini High Only compared to some. Buttercup Medium Whoever he is, he's too late! See! The Cliffs of Insanity!!! Hurry up! Move...the thing...and...that other thing! Move it!!! We're safe! Only Fezzik is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours 'till he finds a harbor. Vizzini High Inconceivable!....Faster!! Vizzini High I thought I was going faster. Fezzik Low You were supposed to be this colossus, you were this great legendary thing and yet he gains! Vizzini High Well, I'm carrying three people, and he got only himself. Fezzik Low I do not accept excuses! I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all. Vizzini High Don't say that, Vizzini, please? Fezzik Low Did I make it clear that your job is at stake? Vizzini High He's got very good arms. Fezzik Low He didn't fall! Inconceivable! Vizzini High Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the princess and must therefore die. You carry her. We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine; if not, the sword. Vizzini High You know what a hurry we're in! Vizzini High Oh have it your way. Vizzini High You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted. Fezzik Low I'm waiting... Vizzini High Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me. Man in black High Thank you. Man in black High If you're in such a hurry you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do. Man in black High That does put a damper on our relationship. Man in black High That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait. Man in black High No good. I've known too many Spaniards. Man in black High Nothing comes to mind. Man in black High Throw me the rope. Man in black High Thank you. Man in black High Again, thank you. Man in black High Do you always begin conversations this way? Man in black High I've never seen its equal. Man in black High How old were you? Man in black High You've done nothing but sword-play? Man in black High Well I....I certainly hope you find him someday. Man in black High Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair. Man in black High You seem a decent fellow...I hate to die. Man in black High I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain. Man in black High Naturally...but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don't you? Man in black High Thank you. I've worked hard to become so. Man in black High Then why are you smiling? Man in black High And what is that? Man in black High You're amazing! Man in black High There's something I ought to tell you. Man in black High I'm not left-handed either. Man in black High No one of consequence. Man in black High Get used to disappointment. Man in black High I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either... Man in black High Please understand I hold you in the highest respect. Man in black High Inconceivable!! Give her to me! Catch up with us quickly! Vizzini High What do I do? Fezzik Low Finish him! Finish him...your way... Vizzini High Oh good. My way. Thank you Vizzini. Which way's my way? Fezzik Low Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, and in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend. The minute his HEAD is in view hit it with the rock! Vizzini High My way is not very sportsman-like. Fezzik Low I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss. Fezzik Low I believe you. So what happens now? Man in black High We face each other as god intended; sportsman-like...no tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone. Fezzik Low You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people? Man in black High I could kill you now... Fezzik Low Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting. Man in black High It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise. Fezzik Low Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what? Man in black High I just want you to feel you are doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed. You're quick! Fezzik Low Good thing too. Man in black High Why are you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that? Fezzik Low Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future. Man in black High I just figured out why you would give me so much trouble. Fezzik Low Why is that, do you think? Man in black High Well, I haven't fought just one person for so long......I've been specializing in groups, fighting gangs for local charities...that kind of thing. Fezzik Low Why should that make such a difference? Man in black High You see, you use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people, then when you only have to worry about one. Fezzik Low I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well and dream of large women. Man in black High So, it is down to you, and it is down to me...if you wish her dead, by all means keep moving forward. Vizzini High Let me explain... Man in black High There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen. Vizzini High Perhaps an arrangement can be reached? Man in black High There will be no arrangements...and you're killing her. Vizzini High But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse. Man in black High I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains. Vizzini High You're that smart? Man in black High Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Vizzini High Yes. Man in black High Morons! Vizzini High Really! In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits. Man in black High For the princess? To the death? I accept! Vizzini High Good, then pour the wine. Inhale this but do not touch. Man in black High I smell nothing. Vizzini High What you do not smell is Iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, and dissolves instantly in liquid and is among the more deadly poisons known to man. Man in black High Hmmm. Vizzini High Alright, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink - and find out who is right, and who is dead. Man in black High But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you...But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Vizzini High You've made your decision then? Man in black High Not remotely! Because Iocaine comes from Australia. As everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So, I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. Vizzini High Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Man in black High Wait 'till I get going!! ...where was I? Vizzini High Australia. Man in black High Yes! Australia! And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Vizzini High You're just stalling now. Man in black High You'd like to think that, wouldn't you! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong...so you could have put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied...and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me! Vizzini High You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work. Man in black High It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is! Vizzini High Then make your choice. Man in black High I will, and I choose... What in the world can that be? Vizzini High What?! Where?! I don't see anything. Man in black High Oh, well, I...I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. Vizzini High What's so funny? Man in black High I...I'll tell you in a minute. First, lets drink, me from my glass and you from yours. Vizzini High You guessed wrong. Man in black High You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool!! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line! Vizzini High Who are you? Buttercup Medium I'm no one to be trifled with. That is all you'll ever need know. Man in black High And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned. Buttercup Medium They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up immunity to iocaine powder. Man in black High Catch your breath. Man in black High If you'll release me, whatever you ask for ransom you'll get it, I promise you. Buttercup Medium And what is that worth... the promise of a woman...You're very funny highness. Man in black High I was giving you a chance. It does not matter where you take me. There is no greater hunter than Prince Humperdinck. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you. Buttercup Medium You think your dearest love will save you? Man in black High I never said he was my dearest love. And yes, he will save me - that I know. Buttercup Medium You admit to me you do not love your fiance? Man in black High He knows I do not love him. Buttercup Medium ...Are not capable of love is what you mean. Man in black High I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream! Buttercup Medium That was a warning, highness! The next time my hand flies on its own; where I come from there are penalties when a women lies. Man in black High Rest, highness. Man in black High I know who you are. Your cruelty reveals everything. You're the Dread Pirate Roberts, admit it! Buttercup Medium With pride. What can I do for you? Man in black High You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces. Buttercup Medium Hardly complimentary, your highness...Why loose your venom on me? Man in black High You killed my love. Buttercup Medium It's possible, I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another prince like this one...ugly, rich, and scabby? Man in black High No, a farmboy...poor! Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm. On the the high-seas your ship attacked, and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners! Buttercup Medium I can't afford to make exceptions. I mean once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft people begin to disobey him and its nothing but work, work, work all the time. Man in black High You mock my pain! Buttercup Medium Life is pain, highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something. I remember this farmboy of yours I think. This would be what? Five years ago? Does it bother you to hear? Man in black High Nothing you can say will upset me. Buttercup Medium He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said please, please, I need to live. It was the please that caught my memory. I asked what was so important for him; 'True love' he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness...I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are. Man in black High And what am I? Buttercup Medium Faithfulness he talked of, madam, your enduring faithfulness! Now tell me truly, when you found out he was gone did you get engaged to your prince that same hour or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead? Man in black High You mocked me once! Never do it again! I died that day! Buttercup Medium You can die too, for all I care!! Buttercup Medium As.......you.....wish....... Man in black High Oh, my sweet Wesley, what have I done? Buttercup Medium Can you move at all? Wesley Medium Move? You're alive! If you want I could fly. Buttercup Medium I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me? Wesley Medium Well, you were dead. Buttercup Medium But death cannot stop true love...all it can do is delay it for awhile. Wesley Medium I will never doubt again. Buttercup Medium There will never be a need. Wesley Medium Oh, no! No. Please! Kid Low What is it? What's the matter? Grandfather Medium They're kissing again. Do we have to hear the kissing part? Kid Low Someday you might not mind so much. Grandfather Medium Get on to the fire-swamp, that sounded good! Kid Low Oh...you're sick, I'll humor you. Oh, okay.... Grandfather Medium Wesley and Buttercup raced along the ravine floor. Narrator Medium Aha! Your pig fiance is too late! A few more steps and we'll be safe in the fire-swamp. Wesley Medium We'll never survive. Buttercup Medium Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has. Wesley Medium It's not that bad... ...well I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here but the trees are actually quite lovely. Wesley Medium Well now, that was an adventure. Singed a bit, were you? Wesley Medium You? Buttercup Medium Well, one thing I will say; the fire swamp certainly does keep you on your toes. Wesley Medium This will all soon be but a happy memory. Robert's ship Revenge is banked at the far end. And as you know I am Roberts. Wesley Medium But how's that possible, since he's been marauding 20 years and you only left me 5 years ago? Buttercup Medium I myself am often surprised at life's little quirks. See, what I told you before about saying please was true...it intrigued Roberts, as did my descriptions of your beauty. Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, 'Alright Wesley, I've never had a valet, you can try if you'd like. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.' For three years he said that. 'Good night Wesley, good work, sleep well, I'll most likely kill you in the morning.' It was a fine time for me - I was learning to fence, fight, anything anyone would teach me. Roberts and I eventually became friends. And then it happened. Wesley Medium What? Go on. Buttercup Medium Well, Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts,' he said. 'My name is Ryar. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. Wesley Medium The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either - his name was Cumberbun. The real Roberts had been retired 15 years and was living like a king in Patagonia.' Thank you. Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Wesley. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew and he stayed aboard for awhile as first mate, all the time calling me Roberts. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Roberts ever since. Except now that we're together, I shall retire and hand the name over to someone else. Is everything clear to you? Wesley Medium We'll never succeed. We may as well die here. Buttercup Medium No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the fire-swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem - there's a popping sound preceding each. We can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too. Wesley Medium Wesley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s? Buttercup Medium Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist. Wesley Medium Wesley!! Buttercup Medium We did it! Buttercup Medium Now, was that so terrible? Wesley Medium You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well then, I accept. Wesley Medium Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the fire-swamp. We can live there happily for some time, so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit. Wesley Medium It will not happen! Wesley Medium Death first! Wesley Medium Will you promise not to hurt him? Buttercup Medium What was that? Wesley Medium If we surrender, and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this man? Buttercup Medium He is a sailor on the pirate ship Revenge. Promise to return him to his ship. Buttercup Medium I thought you were dead once, and it almost destroyed me. I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could save you. Buttercup Medium We are men of action, lies do not become us. Wesley Medium You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for you... Wesley Medium Where am I? Wesley Medium Then I'm here 'till I die? Wesley Medium Then why bother curing me? Wesley Medium So it's to be torture. I can cope with torture. You don't believe me? Wesley Medium The King died that very night, and before the following dawn, Buttercup and Humperdinck were married. And at noon she met her subjects again, this time as their queen. Narrator Medium Hold it! Hold it! Grandpa, you read that wrong. She doesn't marry Humperdinck, she marries Wesley. I'm just sure of it...after all that Wesley did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair. Kid Low Well who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair? Grandfather Medium I'm telling you, you're messing up the story! Now get it right! Kid Low Do you want me to go on with this? Grandfather Medium Yes. Kid Low Alright then, no more interruptions. At noon she met her subjects again, this time as their queen. Grandfather Medium Why do you do this? Buttercup Medium But they would have killed Wesley if I hadn't done it. Buttercup Medium It was ten days 'till the wedding. The king still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares were becoming steadily worse. Narrator Medium See? Didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdinck. Kid Low Yes, you're very smart. Shut up. Narrator Medium It comes to this: I love Wesley, I always have - I know now I always will. If you tell me I must marry you in ten days, please believe I will be dead by morning. Buttercup Medium My Wesley will always come for me. Buttercup Medium Any word from Wesley? Buttercup Medium He will come for me. Buttercup Medium The day of the wedding arrived. The brute squad had their hands full carrying out Humperdinck's orders. Narrator Medium You surely are a meany. Fezzik Low Hello. Fezzik Low You don't look so good...You don't smell so good either. Fezzik Low Fezzik and Inigo were reunited, and as Fezzik nursed his inebriated friend back to health, he told Inigo of Vizzini's death and the existence of Count Rugen, the six-fingered man. Considering Inigo's life-long search, he handled the news surprisingly well. . Fezzik took great care in reviving Inigo. Narrator Medium He's with the prince in the castle. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty men. Fezzik Low I don't think more than ten. Fezzik Low But Vizzini is dead. Fezzik Low What? Fezzik Low Where? Fezzik Low But you don't know where he is? Fezzik Low Every ship but your four fastest, you mean. Every ship but the four you sent. Buttercup Medium You never sent the ships. Doesn't matter, Wesley will come for me anyway. Buttercup Medium Yes I am a silly girl, for not having seen sooner that you were nothing but a coward with a heart full of fear. Buttercup Medium Why not? You can't hurt me. Wesley and I are joined by the bonds of love, and you cannot track that; not with a thousand bloodhounds. And you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. And when I say you're a coward, it is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the Earth. Buttercup Medium The Man in black? Fezzik Low EVERYBODY, MOVE!!! Fezzik Low I'm sorry Inigo. I didn't mean to jog him so hard. Inigo? Fezzik Low He's dead. Fezzik Low Grandpa! Grandpa! Wait, wait. What did Fezzik mean, 'He's dead.' I mean, he didn't mean 'dead'? Wesley is only faking, right? Kid Low Do you want me to read this or not? Grandfather Medium Who gets Humperdinck! Kid Low I don't understand? Grandfather Medium Who kills Prince Humperdinck? At the end, someone's got to do it! Is it Inigo? Who?! Kid Low Nobody. Nobody kills him. He lives. Grandfather Medium You mean he wins? Jesus, Grandpa! What did you read me this thing for? Kid Low You know, you...you've been very sick and you're taking this story very seriously. I think we'd better stop now. Grandfather Medium No. I...I'm okay. I'm okay. Sit down. I'm alright. Kid Low Okay. Alright, now lets see...where were we? Oh, yes, in the Pit of Despair. Grandfather Medium The body? Fezzik Low I have a little. Fezzik Low I'm on the brute squad. Fezzik Low True....love.... Wesley Medium Inigo, there's more than thirty! Fezzik Low Has it been fifteen minutes? Fezzik Low How long do we have to wait before we know if the miracle works? Fezzik Low I'll beat you both apart! I'll take you both together! Wesley Medium I guess not very long. Fezzik Low Why won't my arms move? Wesley Medium You've been mostly dead all day. Fezzik Low Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where's Buttercup? Wesley Medium That doesn't leave much for dilly-dally. Wesley Medium You just wiggled your finger! That's wonderful! Fezzik Low I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities? Wesley Medium And our assets? Wesley Medium That's it? Impossible. If I had a month to plan maybe I could come up with something. But this... Wesley Medium You just shook your head! That doesn't make you happy? Fezzik Low My brains, his steel and your strength against sixty men and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? Hmm?? I mean if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. Wesley Medium Over the Albino, I think? Fezzik Low Why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?! What I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak... Wesley Medium Would this do? Fezzik Low At Miracle Max's. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it. Fezzik Low Alright, alright, come help me up. Now I'll need a sword eventually. Wesley Medium True, but that's hardly common knowledge, is it? Thank you. Now, there may be problems once we're inside. Wesley Medium Don't pester him, he's had a hard day. Fezzik Low Inigo? Fezzik Low I hope we win. Fezzik Low Should I be? Buttercup Medium I do not marry tonight. My Wesley will save me. Buttercup Medium I am the Dread Pirate Roberts! There will be no survivors! Fezzik Low Not yet. Wesley Medium My men are here! I am here! ... but soon you will not be here! Fezzik Low Light him! Wesley Medium The Dread Pirate Roberts takes no survivors! All your worst nightmares have but to come true! Fezzik Low The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your soul! Fezzik Low Here comes my Wesley now. Buttercup Medium Fezzik, the portcullis! Wesley Medium Then why is there fear behind your eyes. Buttercup Medium Give us the gate key. Wesley Medium He didn't come... Buttercup Medium I can't leave him alone! Fezzik Low I'll be right back. Fezzik Low Because you've always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite. Buttercup Medium There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. Wesley Medium Wesley! Oh, Wesley darling! Wesley, why won't you hold me? Buttercup Medium Gently... Wesley Medium At a time like this, that is all you can think to say? Gently? Buttercup Medium Gently... Wesley Medium Oh, Wesley, will you ever forgive me? Buttercup Medium What hideous sin have you committed lately? Wesley Medium I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast. Buttercup Medium It never happened. Wesley Medium What? Buttercup Medium It never happened. Wesley Medium But it did! I was there...this old man said man and wife. Buttercup Medium Did you say I do? Wesley Medium Uh...no. We sort of skipped that part. Buttercup Medium Then you're not married. You didn't say it. You didn't do it. Wouldn't you agree, your highness? Wesley Medium No! To the pain! Wesley Medium I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand. You warthog-faced-buffoon! Wesley Medium It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your your feet below the ankles, then your hands at your wrists. Next, your nose. Wesley Medium I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye followed by your right! Wesley Medium Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why; so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness is yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman that cries out, 'dear god what is that thing!' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. Wesley Medium It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable you miserable vomitous mass, I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength to stand after all. Drop... your... sword. Now have a seat. Tie him up. Make it as tight as you like. Wesley Medium I thought he was with you? In that case... Wesley Medium Why does Wesley need helping? Buttercup Medium Thank you, but no. Whatever happens to us, I want him to live a long life, alone with his cowardice. Wesley Medium Inigo! Inigo! Where are you? Oh...there you are. Inigo, I saw the prince's stable, and there they were four white horses. And I thought there are four of us, if we ever find the lady. Hello lady! So I took them with me in case we ever bumped into each other. But I guess we just did. Fezzik Low Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head. Fezzik Low Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts. Wesley Medium They rode to freedom. As dawn arose, Wesley and Buttercup knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. And as they reached for each other... Narrator Medium What?! What?! Kid Low Naah, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear that. Grandfather Medium Well...I don't mind so much. Kid Low Okay. Grandfather Medium Since the invention of the kiss, there had been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. THE END. Narrator Medium Now, I think you ought to go to sleep. Grandfather Medium Okay... Kid Low Okay... okay... okay...alright...shalom. Grandfather Medium Grandpa. Maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow. Kid Low As you wish. Grandfather Medium